Looking for Alibrandi Short Story

A Letter of Hope. As privy sit in the bustling coffee shop and gazed at the blank melodic theme in front of him, beads of sweat broke across his eyebrow and trickled slowly down his establishment. How was he meant to write down what he was picture when he couldnt explain it? He knew his emotions were in in that location someplace but he just couldnt reach them. They were locked tight, stuffed somewhere heavy down. He was comfortably numb and that was something that terrified him. It was as if the numbness was draw him into a black hole. He was trapped, unable to get emerge. His thoughts were jumbled and divulge of sync. He couldnt tell if what he was feeling was real.Was he undisputable-footed of feeling emotions any more(prenominal)? It was as if crapper was a ghost. Doing what he had to do to get through the day. Doing what he could to make his father proud. That wasnt brisk in his opinion. It was merely existing. His hands started to tremble. Looking up at Josie he studied her. She had a look of pure concentration on her face as she wrote allthing down. He couldnt help but envy her. reliable her life wasnt perfect but it was a hell of a lot better than his. She could choose her own career without cosmos screamed at for hours on end. She could get one bad grade without being told she was a failure.She didnt have to be perfect, and she was beginning to slowly understand that. That was something John would kill for. Even his better(p) wasnt nice. John had tried his best to please his father he studied harder than anyone else he knew. Hed sacrificed so much to try and make his father proud, but slide fastener was ever good enough. John closed his eyes and leaned his head sand thinking of all the generation he was put down by his father. Pain welled up from deep inside him. He thought of the time he was told he was hated or not good enough just because hed been beaten in a maths competition.He thought of the times he had come home to his father go-ahead his mail then calling him worthless when the results werent up to his standard. The times his father wouldnt speak to him because he hadnt got the perfect mark. peradventure his father not talking to him would have been a relief if it lasted more than an hour. John was starting to get more and more tired every day. Tired of the constant pressure, tired of not meeting expectations and of not being able to outlive his life the way he wanted. But or so of all he was tired of the constant nagging voice in his head. The voice that wouldnt leave him alone.The voice that was the cause of so numerous nightmares. If John could be who his father wanted him to be then he would. But he just wasnt capable of that anymore. He was sure of it there was no way that he could reach his fathers larger than life expectations. It just wasnt possible. His father always wanted that little bit more. He finally decided that it was time to lot how he was feeling with someone else and th at person would be Josie. He bounced his legs absentmindedly, took a deep touch and with his heart pounding in his chest he started to write down the haggling that had plagued his mind for the last few months.He wrote the words he hadnt had the courage to say to himself. Can you see what I see? No I dont think you put up I see images of nothing and I attempt to make that malarky mean something as hard as I try there is still nothing and that nothing is meaningless I am somewhere else now, outside I am surrounded by people and the wild blue yonder of the sky but still nothing has changed everything remains the same I am still alone. As John finished writing he let out a breath. He raked his hands through his blur nervously. He thought it over one last time. Was he unfeignedly ready to bare his soul to Josie?Taking another deep breath to help calm his nerves, John folded the letter and sealed it with some ill at ease(p) tape. With his hands trembling he handed over his most s equestered thoughts to Josie. After they had exchanged letters they said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Once John got outside he looked up to the hazy sky and let out a shaky laugh full of relief. Maybe just mayhap Josie would be the one to save him before it was too late. He hoped that she would string out the letter before graduation and help him put back unneurotic the shattered pieces of his life. Because deep down that broken boy wanted to live more than anything in the world.